I Love This Husband & Wife Stuff


#343: Book Review – Sacred Marriage May 8, 2012

Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas had a profound effect on me.  The message is that God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy.  Marriage brings me happiness, but not always.  If you look to marriage only to make you happy, you will be disappointed.  Humans are lacking and we all have a hole inside, a loss, a yearning.  That lacking is supposed to be filled with God.  If we don’t fill it with God, we try to fill it with other things: shopping, food, power, alcohol, etc.  If we try to fill it with our spouse, no matter how wonderful they are, they will fail.  They too are sinners.  But if you fill that void with God, and have your spouse as a mate throughout your life, things will go much better.

The book looks at how we can use the challenges, joys, struggles, and celebrations of marriage to draw us closer to God and grow in Christian character.  It helps to see marriage as a kind of ministry, and a tough one.

“This is the reality of the human heart, the inevitability of two sinful people pledging to live together, with all their faults, for the rest of their lives.”

The book asks us to use the challenges of marriage as opportunities to learn more about God, to understand God more and to learn to love him more.  Marriage should push us to be more of service and to be less selfish.  Confronting our own selfishness has enormous spiritual value.  The focus should be on changing ourselves not our spouses.  It’s about spiritual growth and marriage is just the context.  It’s an excellent book.  Here’s a closing quote:

“Just as celibates use abstinence and religious hermits use isolation, we can use our marriage for the same purpose – to grow in our service, obedience, character, pursuit and love of God.”

Cover of "Sacred Marriage"

Cover of Sacred Marriage


#319: Having a functional home April 14, 2012

My goal is to have a functional home.  In terms of cleanliness that means balance: clean enough to be healthy and dirty enough to be happy.  🙂  My husband and I work full-time and we don’t have a maid.  Between errands, chores, shopping, cooking, laundry, yard work, etc. it’s hard to get it all in.  Plus, we have been working out and we do need some down time.  So we try to have a sane and healthy approach which is do the best we can!  You can’t eat off the floor in our house but it’s not too bad!  🙂

Clean House

Clean House (Photo credit: Threthny)


#317: Apologizing April 12, 2012

One thing I love about marriage is apologizing. It’s a little like broccoli and exercise. It might not be the most fun and appealing thing but after you do it you know it was good for you and the right thing to do. I used to apologize while still really arguing. For example, “I’m sorry but I did that because I’ve been so tired lately.”  It’s a good idea to leave buts out of an apology. They bring the focus back to you instead of on the other person. The whole point of apology is that you have hurt, offended, or wronged someone. You know what you did and you want to tell them. So apologize when you are ready. Know what you are apologizing for. It’s ok to just say sorry. But it’s even better to be specific. “I’m sorry for ______.”

Afterwards you may feel better but not necessarily. You may still be mad, either at yourself or the other person.  That’s ok.  But as soon as you recognize that you did wrong and how, and as soon as you can (you might have to push yourself a little) say you are sorry. Afterwards you will at least feel like you did the right thing and have taken a step towards holiness. Don’t expect anything in return from your apology. You might get a thank you, you might not. That’s not your problem or concern. You do the right thing and leave it at that.

I'm Sorry.

I'm Sorry. (Photo credit: Brisbane Falling)


#294: March Madness March 20, 2012

My husband likes college basketball and loves March Madness.  This year I decided I would bond with him and watch it.  The first night I was sitting on the couch next to hubby and I asked him if he minded if I did a few little things while I watched it.  I wrote a few notes to friends telling them I was watching March Madness.  Yeah, that’s how I do it.

I told my husband I would print out two brackets the next day so we could fill them out.  My highlight that first night was when I said “That was a 3 pointer, wasn’t it?”  He said, “Wow, my wife knows! Can I get a high-five?  Can I get a whoop whoop?”  Mama did good.

I guess he thought I was gloating because then he looked at me and said “I don’t want you sitting there acting like you know what you’re doing, like you do this all the time.”

The next night I worked on my bracket.  I had NC at Asheville going to the final four.  I noticed that NC lost so I said to my husband, I picked them to win.  He said, “Over Syracuse?  NC at Asheville?”  I said, “What other NC is there?”  Oops!  I also didn’t understand that those little numbers to the left of the name were the ratings.  I asked for a do over – after all it was only the second night.  I redid my bracket.

What can I say?  I’m learning!  My brother said, “You’re not supposed to change your bracket.”  What do pesky brothers know anyway!  🙂

Asheville, North Carolina. July 23, 2010.

Asheville, North Carolina. July 23, 2010. (Photo credit: lakelandlocal)


#289: He calls me Nagatha March 15, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — Karyl @ 9:00 am
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some love in a mosaic

some love in a mosaic (Photo credit: marie-ll)

I may have posted about this before, and if I have, I apology for the redundancy.  But I think it’s such a funny nickname.  And yes, I do nag.  A little.  But I’m working on it.

Love, Nagatha


#286: Movie Mondays – Ides of March March 12, 2012

Year: 2011

Genre: Drama

Description from IMDb.com: An idealistic staffer for a new presidential candidate gets a crash course on dirty politics during his stint on the campaign trail.

Wife: We both had wanted to see this based upon the previews.  It looked exciting.  The previews were effective: You knew there was suspense and intrigue but didn’t know exactly about what.  Some previews give it all away.  The movie was different from what I expected.  I liked the story line, there was good acting.  Although I liked the ending, the movie left me feeling blue.

Husband: Once it began, it was very predictable. It was still worth watching.  It was slow at parts and the ending was very Lifetime-ish.

Husband-Wife Compatibility Score: 7.5

The Ides of March (film)

Image via Wikipedia


#284: Short Stack March 10, 2012

My husband tells me what I need to hear and makes me laugh.

I’ve gained a few pounds and have been trying to lose them.  Not too long ago was free short stack of pancakes day at IHOP.  I told my husband that we should go. We decided against it because I was already late for work and I knew there would be lines. When I was done getting dressed I walked over to him pointing out that I had lost a few pounds in my tummy but had a few more pounds to go.  He looked at me and said, “Maybe you shouldn’t have that short stack.” 🙂

Banana on Pancake

Image via Wikipedia


#276: Coffee Mug March 2, 2012

Platform at Cleveland Park Metro

Platform at Cleveland Park Metro (Photo credit: Kevin H.)

Uptown Movie Theater Washington DC, 2008

Image via Wikipedia

Soon after we married, we went to see a movie on the big screen at the Uptown Theater in Cleveland Park.  We were early and needed to kill some time.  So we went across the street to the decorate your own pottery place.  My husband painted an over-sized coffee mug the most beautiful color.  It’s a purple-pink-plum color with a gold shimmer.  I love it and have kind of stolen it – if you can slightly steal something.  It has disappeared from our house and now lives in my office.  I use it sometimes but mostly I just marvel at it as a piece of art.  🙂 


#271: Come look at Bella! February 24, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — Karyl @ 9:00 am
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“Come look at Bella!” I said to my husband.  Bella, one of our two cats, was in my closet sitting on the floor looking so cute.  She’s not supposed to be in my closet because she likes to use it as a bathroom.  That made it extra funny and cute to me. It was like she was just sitting there quietly thinking I wouldn’t notice. I like to point out funny and cute things to my husband (in order that he’s never deprived).  So, as he was walking out of the bedroom I said,  “Come look at Bella!”  He did not look amused.  As he walked over towards the closet he said, “She better be juggling or something.”

That husband.  🙂


#153: Balance August 31, 2011

It’s all about balance. Making life work.  Making a marriage work.  The balance between work and play, activity and rest, healthy foods and junk food, others and yourself.  Some times it seems so hard to get it all in.  I find myself at the end of the day wanting more hours.  Trying to take care of myself and taking care of everyone else.  I see that if I don’t take care of myself, I won’t be able to do much for anyone else, but it’s so hard!  Even when I’m trying to take care of myself I find myself having to choose. Do I do yoga, get extra sleep or make juice?  There really is limited time, it’s not just a feeling.  Many times you do have to make hard choices.  But if you can keep balance as the goal, you may not get everything in every day but you get enough of the right things in to make a difference.  Balance is what I strive for – not perfection.