I Love This Husband & Wife Stuff


#332: Vacations together April 27, 2012

West Virgina Sunset Over the Mountains

West Virgina Sunset Over the Mountains (Photo credit: Captain Kimo)

Vacations are especially fun with hubby.  We have a few planned this year.  We have a weekend and a week at the beach (2 separate trips).  We have a long weekend visiting relatives in West Virgina.  We have a Thanksgiving trip to visit my husband’s brother.  And we have Christmas in Denver with my brother and his family.


#226: How many in-laws does it take to screw in a lightbulb? December 16, 2011

English: Close-up of a standard lightbulb with...

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It’s holiday time and time for seeing your in-laws! Mothers-in-law.  Brothers and Sisters-in-law.  All the in-law crew.  What I’ve learned about in-laws is that for things to run smoothly, each spouse should be the leader for dealing with their own set.  It really makes things easier.  If we are visiting my husband’s brother, I take the back seat in figuring out what we do, how often we see him, and gifts.  As much as I want to take control, because I am a supreme control freak, I see that it is best if we divide the tasks this way.  When we visited my brother over the summer, it was up to me to figure out where to stay, how long to stay, etc.  Sometimes the follower spouse has to grin and bear it if decisions are made that they don’t like or wouldn’t make, but that’s ok.  Neither spouse is always the leader or the follower.  It can be hard enough dealing with your own family!  Being let off the hook with your spouse’s family is often a relief. 

What in-law pearls of wisdom have you learned?


#224: The Grinch Who Married Cindy Lou Who December 14, 2011


I often joke that a great Halloween costume for my husband and me would be the Grinch and little Cindy Lou Who.  Of course, I would be Cindy Lou.  My husband is a bit Grinch-like.  He is not always merry.  He can be a bit grouchy.  And serious.  I on the other hand am the “why can’t everyone just get along” type who lives in a world where hope springs eternal.  We are the perfect match in that way and I’ve posted about it before.  At Christmas time these roles become clear again. I want to over decorate, my husband would rather not.  So you can imagine my amazement recently when I asked my husband to help me hang wreaths on the 3 windows on the side of our house.  He said he would go to Home Depot to get hooks for the wreaths and asked me to pick up 2 more wreaths for the front windows.  What?  Get more wreaths?  Am I rubbing off on him?  I may have to take back that Bah Humbug hat I got him!


#217: How do you hang your mistletoe? December 4, 2011

I decorated for Christmas over the weekend.  How you go about decorating for Christmas (and whether you decorate at all) depends upon your culture, upbringing, and personal taste.  My husband and I have been married for four years so we are still reconciling our decorating differences.  When you marry, just like you have to meld your everyday styles of furniture and decor, you have to do the same with decorating for holidays.

Let’s take Christmas trees for instance.  I like a real tree, preferably cut down myself from a tree farm.  (I don’t go so far as to want to go up a mountain and cut one down as my Colorado brother suggested).  Those tree farms also serve hot chocolate and cookies.  It’s all about the snacks.  My husband would rather have a fake tree that you get out and assemble – no outing, no watering, no needles everywhere, no drama.  But alas, no glorious pine smell!  The compromise? We got a real tree this year from Home Depot.  After Christmas we are going to get a fake tree on sale.  I want one with lights already built-in.  I hate putting on lights and trying to hide them.  Although we will usually go with the artificial tree, any time I want to get a real one, I can.

Anyway, there are a gazillion things like this: how to wrap presents (gift boxes or bags), how far to go with decorating (decorating lite or over the top), outside lights or not, etc.  For me, Christmas is all about tradition.  I love looking at my collection of ornaments.  I have a couple I made as a child.  They are wooden and I painted them.  I have my son’s baby’s first Christmas ornament and I also hang his first pair of hard shoes and his baby cup from the tree.  There are the ornaments we have started collecting since we met.  The 2006 ornament from our first Christmas together.  The Montreal ornament we bought while we were on our honeymoon.  The Minnie and Mickey Mouse sitting inside a giant wedding ring that we got in Disney World when we were newlyweds.  We are creating our own Christmas memories now and we are doing that by squashing my likes into his likes and ending up with “our.”  You see “mine” + “mine” = “ours.”   “Ours” may not be exactly what you think you want, but it is exactly what you need.