I Love This Husband & Wife Stuff

365 THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BEING MARRIED!

#343: Book Review – Sacred Marriage May 8, 2012

Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas had a profound effect on me.  The message is that God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy.  Marriage brings me happiness, but not always.  If you look to marriage only to make you happy, you will be disappointed.  Humans are lacking and we all have a hole inside, a loss, a yearning.  That lacking is supposed to be filled with God.  If we don’t fill it with God, we try to fill it with other things: shopping, food, power, alcohol, etc.  If we try to fill it with our spouse, no matter how wonderful they are, they will fail.  They too are sinners.  But if you fill that void with God, and have your spouse as a mate throughout your life, things will go much better.

The book looks at how we can use the challenges, joys, struggles, and celebrations of marriage to draw us closer to God and grow in Christian character.  It helps to see marriage as a kind of ministry, and a tough one.

“This is the reality of the human heart, the inevitability of two sinful people pledging to live together, with all their faults, for the rest of their lives.”

The book asks us to use the challenges of marriage as opportunities to learn more about God, to understand God more and to learn to love him more.  Marriage should push us to be more of service and to be less selfish.  Confronting our own selfishness has enormous spiritual value.  The focus should be on changing ourselves not our spouses.  It’s about spiritual growth and marriage is just the context.  It’s an excellent book.  Here’s a closing quote:

“Just as celibates use abstinence and religious hermits use isolation, we can use our marriage for the same purpose – to grow in our service, obedience, character, pursuit and love of God.”

Cover of "Sacred Marriage"

Cover of Sacred Marriage

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#337: Organizing May 3, 2012

Last weekend I was organizing a bit.  I put all the spices in baskets and labeled the tops.  I also cleaned out the cabinet with pots and pans, got rid of pans we don’t use and labeled where they go.

I said to husband, “Isn’t it great to be organized?”

He said, “I like everything where it is.”

Au contraire husband!  Organizing is all about liking where it is.  Only, where it is may be a new and improved spot.  But once a new system is in place, he’ll always know where to find things.

 

#336: Being a nurturer May 1, 2012

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Description unavailable (Photo credit: moominmolly)

I am a nurturer.  This is helpful as a wife and mother.  I like taking care of people and animals.  Luckily I get to do that a lot in taking care of my husband, son and 2 cats.  I am truly concerned for their health and well-being.  I pray for them and try to help them in any way I can.

 

#324: He’s a Mama’s Boy April 19, 2012

My husband really loved his Mom.  They always say, marry a man who loves his mother.  It tells you how he feels about women and shows how he’ll treat women.  My husband’s Mom passed away but of course he still loves her.  I love her too even though I never got the chance to meet her.  I love her because my husband does, because she raised a great guy, and because she was a loving and lovely Christian woman.

 

#320: Cleanliness is next to Godliness April 15, 2012

Therefore, having these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all defilement of flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.

2 Corinthians 7:1

Although most of the Bible references to cleanliness deal with spiritual over physical cleanliness, I know that God wants me to keep a clean house.  With all the things the Proverbs 31 wife is doing, I know that when “She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks,” some of these tasks involve cleaning her home.  Cleaning is not something I terribly enjoy but I know that while I’m doing it it’s not so bad and I love having a clean house and how it looks and smells after I clean it.  Looking into the future, I see myself focusing on de-cluttering and organizing and then cleaning will become a focus.  Of course, it’s all about balance. Cleaning is just one of the essential things in keeping up a home.  There’s also shopping, cooking, organizing, decorating, yard work, finances, etc.  All of these things need to be done.  We all excel in one or another but it all needs to get done.  I pray that I have the discipline to do all that I can and that my hands bring  balance, joy, order and harmony to my home.

"N-R-O-G super suds housecleaning week&qu...

"N-R-O-G super suds housecleaning week" - NARA - 515093 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

#317: Apologizing April 12, 2012

One thing I love about marriage is apologizing. It’s a little like broccoli and exercise. It might not be the most fun and appealing thing but after you do it you know it was good for you and the right thing to do. I used to apologize while still really arguing. For example, “I’m sorry but I did that because I’ve been so tired lately.”  It’s a good idea to leave buts out of an apology. They bring the focus back to you instead of on the other person. The whole point of apology is that you have hurt, offended, or wronged someone. You know what you did and you want to tell them. So apologize when you are ready. Know what you are apologizing for. It’s ok to just say sorry. But it’s even better to be specific. “I’m sorry for ______.”

Afterwards you may feel better but not necessarily. You may still be mad, either at yourself or the other person.  That’s ok.  But as soon as you recognize that you did wrong and how, and as soon as you can (you might have to push yourself a little) say you are sorry. Afterwards you will at least feel like you did the right thing and have taken a step towards holiness. Don’t expect anything in return from your apology. You might get a thank you, you might not. That’s not your problem or concern. You do the right thing and leave it at that.

I'm Sorry.

I'm Sorry. (Photo credit: Brisbane Falling)

 

#316: My husband is the CEO of our family April 11, 2012

Kennedy marriage

Kennedy marriage (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

He’s the CEO (Chief Executive Officer) – head of the family, leader

He’s the CTO (Chief Transportation Officer) – he drives us around

He’s the CSO (Chief Security Officer) – he’s the protector and in charge of safety

He’s the CTO (Chief Technology Officer)  – he buys the computers, defrags my system (whatever that is!)

I am the COO (Chief Operating Officer) – I get a lot of the “stuff” done (cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc.)

I am the CFO (Chief Financial Officer) – I keep the budget and pay the bills

I am the CBO (Chief Beauty Officer) – in charge of decorating and organizing (ok, I made that one up!)

And finally, I am definitely the CIO (Chief Information Officer) with all my talking!