I Love This Husband & Wife Stuff

365 THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BEING MARRIED!

#320: Cleanliness is next to Godliness April 15, 2012

Therefore, having these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all defilement of flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.

2 Corinthians 7:1

Although most of the Bible references to cleanliness deal with spiritual over physical cleanliness, I know that God wants me to keep a clean house.  With all the things the Proverbs 31 wife is doing, I know that when “She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks,” some of these tasks involve cleaning her home.  Cleaning is not something I terribly enjoy but I know that while I’m doing it it’s not so bad and I love having a clean house and how it looks and smells after I clean it.  Looking into the future, I see myself focusing on de-cluttering and organizing and then cleaning will become a focus.  Of course, it’s all about balance. Cleaning is just one of the essential things in keeping up a home.  There’s also shopping, cooking, organizing, decorating, yard work, finances, etc.  All of these things need to be done.  We all excel in one or another but it all needs to get done.  I pray that I have the discipline to do all that I can and that my hands bring  balance, joy, order and harmony to my home.

"N-R-O-G super suds housecleaning week&qu...

"N-R-O-G super suds housecleaning week" - NARA - 515093 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

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#317: Apologizing April 12, 2012

One thing I love about marriage is apologizing. It’s a little like broccoli and exercise. It might not be the most fun and appealing thing but after you do it you know it was good for you and the right thing to do. I used to apologize while still really arguing. For example, “I’m sorry but I did that because I’ve been so tired lately.”  It’s a good idea to leave buts out of an apology. They bring the focus back to you instead of on the other person. The whole point of apology is that you have hurt, offended, or wronged someone. You know what you did and you want to tell them. So apologize when you are ready. Know what you are apologizing for. It’s ok to just say sorry. But it’s even better to be specific. “I’m sorry for ______.”

Afterwards you may feel better but not necessarily. You may still be mad, either at yourself or the other person.  That’s ok.  But as soon as you recognize that you did wrong and how, and as soon as you can (you might have to push yourself a little) say you are sorry. Afterwards you will at least feel like you did the right thing and have taken a step towards holiness. Don’t expect anything in return from your apology. You might get a thank you, you might not. That’s not your problem or concern. You do the right thing and leave it at that.

I'm Sorry.

I'm Sorry. (Photo credit: Brisbane Falling)

 

#311: Love April 6, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — Karyl @ 9:00 am
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So much has been said, written, sung, acted, and dreamed about love.  It’s funny.  Something you can’t contain, hold, see, taste or buy is the most important thing.  Love in a marriage is like air and water.  There is nothing like it in the world.  It is different from maternal love, fraternal love, and friendly love.  It is similar to loving yourself.  My husband is an extension of me, and I am an extension of him.  Love in marriage at its best is being one, feeling as one.  This oneness is fostered by love.  The oneness in turn fosters more love.

Love kiss

Love kiss (Photo credit: Julien Haler)

 

#310: Honor April 5, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — Karyl @ 9:00 am
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I promised to love, honor and respect my husband.  How do you honor someone?  Here are a few ways:

  1. Speak well of them both in and out of their presence
  2. Do kind things for them
  3. Pay tribute to them (like writing a blog about them) 🙂
  4. Look up to them
  5. Defer to them
  6. Treat them with respect

Interesting that love, respect and kindness are so

(LOC) (Photo credit: The Library of Congress)”][Medal of Honor] (LOC)intertwined.  Almost like a braid.

 

#309: Respect April 4, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — Karyl @ 9:00 am
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Respect is important in a marriage.  Love seems to take center stage but respect has to be best supporting actor.  My stepfather used to say that he’d rather be respected than loved.  If I had to choose, I’d choose love.  But the point is, you shouldn’t have to choose.  Especially in marriage.  I respect my husband as a leader, as a man, as my husband. And he respects me as a woman and his wife.

A sign commanding silence and respect at Arlin...

A sign commanding silence and respect at Arlington National Cemetery, Washington, the District. (Author: David Bjorgen) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

 

#303: My husband loves when I blog March 29, 2012

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When I blog, there are long stretches of time where I am in the basement not talking, not asking him to look at things,  not asking him to do things.

my blogging = peaceful moments

Hey!  Everyone needs a hobby.  🙂

Peace begins with love

Peace begins with love (Photo credit: Br3nda)

 

#301: Humility March 27, 2012

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Humility

Humility (Photo credit: Perfesser)

Humility is a weak area for me and I have asked God to help me with it.  One of the things I love about life is that you get to keep growing, improving, and changing.  I really want to become a more humble person.  First I need to understand what humility means.  Then I need to practice it.  I am in the learning phase now and am starting to practice what I’ve learned.

(becoming) a woman for Him just did an excellent post on humility called (becoming) closer to God through Proverbs 6, part 2 haughty eyes.  You can check it out here.  She says that the first thing God hates is haughty or proud eyes.  She asks us to look at our behaviors such as taking pride in your gifts and accomplishments, or feeling that you deserve certain things.  We are nothing without God and all that we have He gave to us.  If we boast it should be about our knowledge of God, God’s strength in our weakness, and what God did for us through the cross.

Learn This: A personal development site for passionately learning productivity, career,
leadership and life improvement tips posted 50 Ways to Be More Humble and to Act Humbly.  I highlighted the ones that really spoke to me and let me tell you, I did a lot of highlighting.  Here are the ones I really need to work on:

  • Listen more than you talk
  • Count to 3 before adding to a conversation to make sure the other person is done
  • You are God’s creation not your own
  • Don’t boast about your achievements, let others recognize them instead
  • Since winning isn’t everything, you don’t have to win
  • Remember that you are a sinner (in other words, you are no better or worse than anyone else)
  • Know how to accept praise with a simple thank you, don’t elaborate on it or talk more about it
  • Serve others and not yourself first
  • Learn from and model the life of the most humble teachers in history (Jess, Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Buddha, etc.)

How to humble yourself in five easy lessons was also helpful.  It begins with “Humility is a tough thing to get.  The minute you think you got it, you lose it.”  Amen.  Pearls from this post include:

  • Take responsibility for your own sin for not doing so is proof of pride
  • Don’t forget who you are: a sinner, not God
  • To humble yourself you must do what is right, without regard for how insignificant that action or your position  may appear
  • to be humble does not mean feeling inferior, you can be confident in Christ
  • you can be a confident Christian – your faith in Jesus Christ makes you one of God’s children
  • Learn to control your tongue

Inner Frontier: Cultivating Spiritual Presence, also has a post on humility.  It begins with these two powerful messages:

There is a good description of humility:

“The humble, unassuming person immediately puts us at ease.  We can just relax and be ourselves in their presence, a zone of no competition, no judgment, and no fear.  The heart of the humble knows love.  Humility realizes that we are all in the same boat, all human, all equally children of the same God.”

If you struggle with humility as well, I hope these posts will help you as you strive to be ever more humble.