I Love This Husband & Wife Stuff


#317: Apologizing April 12, 2012

One thing I love about marriage is apologizing. It’s a little like broccoli and exercise. It might not be the most fun and appealing thing but after you do it you know it was good for you and the right thing to do. I used to apologize while still really arguing. For example, “I’m sorry but I did that because I’ve been so tired lately.”  It’s a good idea to leave buts out of an apology. They bring the focus back to you instead of on the other person. The whole point of apology is that you have hurt, offended, or wronged someone. You know what you did and you want to tell them. So apologize when you are ready. Know what you are apologizing for. It’s ok to just say sorry. But it’s even better to be specific. “I’m sorry for ______.”

Afterwards you may feel better but not necessarily. You may still be mad, either at yourself or the other person.  That’s ok.  But as soon as you recognize that you did wrong and how, and as soon as you can (you might have to push yourself a little) say you are sorry. Afterwards you will at least feel like you did the right thing and have taken a step towards holiness. Don’t expect anything in return from your apology. You might get a thank you, you might not. That’s not your problem or concern. You do the right thing and leave it at that.

I'm Sorry.

I'm Sorry. (Photo credit: Brisbane Falling)


5 Responses to “#317: Apologizing”

  1. Sis Says:

    I apologize too much, my husband started telling me “don’t apologize, just change”

  2. I over apologize. I apologize when unnecessary. I say sorry when I bump into the dog. I apologize when I die playing Donkey Kong. True story. I don’t mean to, but it just falls out. Hubbyman says to stop apologizing and realize that I do not control everything, and not everything is my fault. I’ve been working on only saying those words when they are true and sincere. And not just force of habit.

    • Karyl Says:

      You are the second person to leave such a comment. I think overapologizing is another phenomenon of which I too am guilty. Not so much with my husband any more though. I stopped doing the things I kept doing and apologizing for. Perhaps I will write a post on overapologizing one day if the spirit moves me!

  3. […] #317: Apologizing (ilovethishusbandandwifestuff.com) […]

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