I Love This Husband & Wife Stuff


#236: Turning the other cheek in marriage December 30, 2011

Filed under: God — Karyl @ 9:00 am
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“If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.” Matthew 5:39

If you envision life as who’s right and who’s wrong, you see a struggle. If you envision life as a place where everyone has feelings, you see a world of humans.  Last week my husband was sick, he was understandably in a bad mood, and he wanted quiet.  I wanted companionship – to be myself, to share a song, to make a joke.  We each wanted something and didn’t receive it.  You could say that neither of us was wrong.  We were just people with feelings wanting different things.  You could say I was wrong because he was sick, and sick people should have a preference for getting what they want and need.  

Marriage is a service to God. When I gave my life to the Lord, he took it and filled it with grace.  He made it overflow with love and joy and with purpose. I am happier and more fulfilled.  However, I have often been called into new areas of service, often demanding. Marriage is one of those areas of service.

So, right or wrong, to be truly a woman of God, I have to turn the other cheek.  Move away from right vs. wrong.  Move away from me-me-me.  It’s hard.  In my core I want my way.  In my core there is a bossy, spoiled little brat.  Luckily, with grace, also in my core is a loving God who holds that little brat until she calms down and becomes the graceful, lovely, giver of love and kindness to those around her, including her poor, sick husband. 

A woman giving a man a kiss on the cheek

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#235: Assassin in Love December 29, 2011

Cover of "Sneakers (Collector's Edition)&...

Cover of Sneakers (Collector's Edition)

Cover of "In Bruges"
Cover of In Bruges


I’ve talked before about good movies for traditional couples where the man likes action thrillers and the woman likes chick flicks and romance. This morning while getting ready for work, I found the perfect movie. I didn’t get to watch the whole thing because I was getting ready but I saw enough to know that it was perfect.

When it was over, I said to my husband, “This is the perfect movie for us because it involves an assassin, there’s action and a love story, and it takes place in a cute little town in Ireland. It’s funny and serious and it’s got good writing and actors.”  Then I said “What’s it called?”  He said “Assassin In Love.”  Isn’t that the perfect husband and wife movie?  🙂  Curiously, it is unclear whether the movie is called The Baker or Assassin In Love.  But what’s in a name, right?  

The movie is classified as a comedy thriller.  Maybe this is a generally good genre for husbands and wives.  Other movies classified this way that we have seen are: In Bruges, Sneakers, Sweeny Todd, and The Truth About Charlie.  These all worked pretty well for both of us although I wasn’t crazy about Sneakers.  I haven’t done much research on this genre but will do more.  Comedy thrillers.  Who knew?  

I think I might do a new segment on my blog called Movie Mondays where I talk about a movie we’ve seen and rate it from the husband and wife perspectives.  What do you think?

What genres or movies do you think work well for husbands and wives? 


#234: He loves me even if I gain a few pounds December 28, 2011

Filed under: Food,Humor — Karyl @ 9:00 am
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#dangers of #belly #fat #educational. Somethin...

Image by sniggitysnags via Flickr

pru belly tuft
Image by k e e k i via Flickr
Fat belly's
Image by Yersinia via Flickr

Can we talk?  One of the things I don’t like about the holidays is all the yummy food and sweets. Of course, that’s one of the things I like as well.  Too much.  I have a tendency to gain a few pounds during the holidays.  Last week I told my sister-in-law that we should have a no-sugar pledge.  I broke it the next day!  Someone sent me a big tin of chocolate chip cookies – my weakness.

I think I may have found a solution though.  I may just buy one of those pregnancy bands to hold it all in.

Belly Band

Photo Source

Seriously, after the New Year, I am going on a serious detox diet.

Anyway, back to my husband.  He loves me.  In sickness and in health.  In thinness and in thick!  🙂 


#233: Is the gift of gab really a gift? December 27, 2011

Filed under: God — Karyl @ 9:00 am
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The Gift (Andre Nickatina album)

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I’ve thought a lot about silence lately.  It’s ironic because I have the so-called gift of gab.  I’ve always been a talker.  Part of this is me and my personality and part of it is a lot of other things: nervousness, wanting to be liked, wanting to please, wanting to be the center of attention, wanting to impress, wanting to sound smart.  You get the drift.  I’m not saying that I want to be a quiet, shy person.  But I would like to cut the amount of idle chatter that comes out of my mouth.  I actually gave up idle chatter last Lent.  It didn’t go so well.

I’ve read a lot about being happier and more peaceful, and many things point to talking less and listening more. I have a nasty habit of interrupting people and being more quiet would help that.  You may ask, how does this relate to my marriage and to the things I love about marriage.  Well, I’ll tell you.  My husband likes quiet and my incessant talking is often annoying to him.  I get it.  Sometimes I irritate myself I talk so much!  Living in a marriage means making compromises.  It means that he needs to be more tolerant of my talking.  It also means that I need to talk less.  Marriage can make you a better person.  More holy.  More saint-like.  Marriage is a mirror in which you get to look at your ugly moles.  It motivates you to actually do something about changing parts of yourself that you don’t like.


#232: Meditating on Our Marriage Vows December 26, 2011

Filed under: God — Karyl @ 9:00 am
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I hope you had a lovely Christmas!  I think it is a good idea for me to periodically check my marriage vows and remind myself about what I promised to do.  Kind of like reviewing my job description at work.  Vows are not something you say one day at the beginning of your marriage and forget about. They should live and breathe and be part of every day.  In order for that to happen, I need to revisit them.

Our vows were pretty basic.  Here they are:

I, Karyl, take you, Walter, for my lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, for as long as we both shall live.

So short but so profound.  We’ve got the legal part in there: lawful husband.  I get to have him in my life, in my home, in my heart.  I get to hold him, snuggle with him, be close to him.  Then there is the for better for worse part.  For better is easy.  He’s funny and smart and he makes me laugh.  He’s hardworking and reliable.  At worse he is human like the rest of us and has traits that I’m not as fond of, but “for worse” means that I try to overlook his shortcomings.  That I am patient with him and am still fan #1 in his corner through his worse times.  

For richer or poorer, in good financial times and bad.  We get to work together to be financially sound and prudent. To encourage good stewardship of our wealth, time and resources and to put our heads together creatively to increase our prosperity.  In sickness and in health.  Good health is the goal.  I work to keep us healthy by buying and cooking healthy foods and urging us to exercise and take good care of ourselves.  When he is sick, I take care of him.  When I am sick, I try not to whine too much.

Most importantly, as long as we both shall live.  We are in this for life.  It’s a life sentence!  But a good one.  What God has joined together, let no man put asunder.

I send you blessing during this Christmas season and always! 

Married couple renews their vows

Image via Wikipedia



Merry Christmas! Baby, It’s Cold Outside! December 25, 2011

Baby, It's Cold Outside

Image by faith goble via Flickr

Merry Christmas to my subscribers and followers and to anyone else who happens by my blog  today!  I hope that you enjoy the day with your family and friends.  Happy Birthday to my dear Lord, Jesus Christ! 

Here are the lyrics of one of my favorite Christmas songs, Baby It’s Cold Outside:

Watch Video Here!

I really can’t stay – Baby it’s cold outside

I’ve got to go away – Baby it’s cold outside

This evening has been – Been hoping that you’d drop in

So very nice – I’ll hold your hands, they’re just like ice

My mother will start to worry – Beautiful, what’s your hurry

My father will be pacing the floor – Listen to the fireplace roar

So really I’d better scurry – Beautiful, please don’t hurry

Well Maybe just a half a drink more – Put some records on while I pour

The neighbors might think – Baby, it’s bad out there

Say, what’s in this drink – No cabs to be had out there

I wish I knew how – Your eyes are like starlight now

To break this spell – I’ll take your hat, your hair looks swell

I ought to say no, no, no, sir – Mind if I move a little closer

At least I’m gonna say that I tried – What’s the sense in hurting my pride

I really can’t stay – Baby don’t hold out

Ahh, but it’s cold outside

C’mon baby

I simply must go – Baby, it’s cold outside

The answer is no – Ooh baby, it’s cold outside

This welcome has been – I’m lucky that you dropped in

So nice and warm — Look out the window at that storm

My sister will be suspicious – Man, your lips look so delicious

My brother will be there at the door – Waves upon a tropical shore

My maiden aunt’s mind is vicious – Gosh your lips look delicious

Well maybe just a cigarette more – Never such a blizzard before

I’ve got to get home – Oh, baby, you’ll freeze out there

Say, lend me your comb – It’s up to your knees out there

You’ve really been grand – Your eyes are like starlight now

But don’t you see – How can you do this thing to me

There’s bound to be talk tomorrow – Making my life long sorrow

At least there will be plenty implied – If you caught pneumonia and died

I really can’t stay – Get over that old out

Ahh, but it’s cold outside

Baby it’s cold outside

Brr it’s cold…

It’s cold out there

Can’t you stay awhile longer baby

Well… I really shouldn’t… alright

Make it worth your while baby

Ahh, do that again…


#231: Summer memories at Christmas time December 23, 2011

Filed under: Home — Karyl @ 9:00 am
Tags: , , , ,

It seems strange to reminisce about the summer a few days before Christmas and yet I do.  It’s not the weather that reminds me of this particular time but the closeness.  This time of year fosters good will and warmth and I have a very warm memory from the summer.

Last summer we bought a fire pit for the backyard.  One night, before it got dark, we set it up with wood.  We lit it and sat in front of it staring at it and talking.  It was a perfect night.  Not too hot and not too cool.  There was something magical about that moment.  We really connected and talked about our hopes and dreams.  In the business of life, it is rare that we get to take a moment to reflect, wish and dream.  We talked out our goals together in a relaxed setting.  Thank you for indulging me with my summer memory in December! 

One of the two group shelters that include a f...

Image via Wikipedia


#230: Couch dancing December 22, 2011

Filed under: Humor — Karyl @ 9:00 am
Tags: , , , ,
Red sofa

Image via Wikipedia

OK.  How to explain this.  We watch a lot of tv.  And movies.  We hang out on the couch a lot.  When a good song comes on tv, like a commercial or the Law & Order theme song, we do something I like to call couch dancing. Of course, I’m the one who starts it.  I look  at my husband and start bouncing up and down dancing to the beat while seated.  And he usually joins in.  Not all the time.  He likes to feign reluctance.  Couch dancing is the silliest and most fun thing ever.  It ‘s hard not to laugh while doing it.  For those of you who are scared, intimidated or embarrassed to dance on your feet, try couch dancing.  Chances are no one will see you and you have a lot less to lose.  It’s really quite respectable.  🙂


#229: Looking at pictures of him when he was a boy December 21, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Karyl @ 9:00 am
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English: Play Ground-Portchester Colourful pla...

Image via Wikipedia

It’s so fun to look at pictures of my husband when he was a boy. It makes my mind see him then.  And I see me too.  He is a year and a half  older than me.  I imagine that we grew up in the same town.  We actually grew up only 2 hours apart: he in Fort Wayne, Indiana and I in Detroit, Michigan.  So close and yet so far.  We didn’t meet until we were in our 40s. 

I imagine living in his neighborhood at age 9 or 10, walking up to his front door and knocking.  Here is the interchange between his Mom and me.

“Hi Mrs. Dunson.  Can Walter come out and play?”

“Hello.  Walter, that crazy girl is here again.”

My imagination is vivid and silly.  Like me.


#228: Dear Lord, Thank you for my husband December 20, 2011

Dear Lord, I thank you for bringing my husband into my life.  I thank you for the gift he has been.  He has filled my life with order and love and sanity.  He is strong for me and encourages me to be strong.  Lord, I thank you for giving us a close relationship and for always being there to help us as we stumble along the way.  I thank you for giving us a friendship.  I thank you for answering my prayers and for keeping us both safe.  Thank you Lord for blessing me with a good husband.  He is truly a gift from you.


gratitude. =)