One of the things you get to do when you are married is build a life together. This can mean a lot of things. It can mean building careers together. Buying a house. Having children. Deciding where you will live. Deciding how you will live. And it’s not all your decision. It’s not alway so easy to decide “Hey, let’s live as royalty in Buckingham Palace.”
A good friend from law school wrote me recently and noticed in our alumni magazine that some of our classmates were doing interesting things. They have big jobs. One is counsel to the NFL players. Another is general counsel for the NAACP. My wise friend noted that she and I are doing well too. We are healthy, happy, peaceful and happily married. And you know what, that’s good enough for me. We both have jobs that we enjoy but they are not famous jobs. I’m ok with that.
I asked my husband recently what his goals were for our marriage and our lives. He replied that he’s a cheap date. He said he just wants to grow old with me and keep on living how we are living. He’d like to make enough money so I wouldn’t have to work (I like that!) and he just wants to not bother anyone and not have anyone bother him. That also sounds good to me.
I continue to ponder happiness versus peace. I used to always strive for happiness but now I would take peace over happiness any day. It’s so much less a rollercoaster.
As we approach our 4th
anniversary, we continue to build our humble life together in peace.