There is a right way to argue. Especially with your spouse. First, choose your battles. Is it really worth it to fight over the fact that he didn’t put enough oil in the pan and his eggs stuck to the pan? (Sorry honey, if you are reading this I guess this is really nagging anyway :)). Only argue about what really matters. Second, remember the end goal: to live together as harmoniously as possible, to strengthen the marriage, to voice your concerns AND hear his, and to attain some level of peace.
Being a lawyer, I used to choose winning and being “right” over everything, including peace. Now that I’m a Christian, I am more concerned about peace. Better to “lose” than not be at peace. That doesn’t mean I’m a doormat. If you knew me you’d know that I can be a very feisty arguer. So for me to tone it down a bit, I’m still a bit argumentative. The truth is, I like to argue. But you can argue well and that’s what I’ve been trying to do with my husband.
And of course, if you can avoid an argument altogether, by all means, please do!