We get to try to figure out who we are as people and what makes us tick. With a spouse, you get yet another human being to marvel at, ponder, and decipher. Fun, some times challenging like a difficult puzzle.
I am reading a book called Happy Yoga and the section on love says that wanting to be loved should be distinguished from loving. Wanting to be loved can feel like desperation to the other person. We project all our many wants on them and they often don’t measure up. And we don’t understand what is going on and why they are no longer that dreamy person we fell in love with. Loving is without want. It just is! Loving someone no matter whether you can figure them out or not! They just are. You just love. Try it!