I Love This Husband & Wife Stuff


#247: He’s Not Perfect January 17, 2012

“A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.”

Dave Meurer

A friend asked me recently whether my husband really says all the things I write about on my blog, or if I embellish. Apparently he seems too good to be true.  He really does say those things and what I write is true.  He really is a good husband.  He is a really good husband.   We are happy. I am happy.  But he’s not perfect.  Neither am I. What I don’t write about are his faults.  I don’t complain about him.  My blog is not a forum for that.  My blog is for sharing the things I love about marriage. There are other blogs that show a more even portrayal of marriage but that’s not what I choose to do. This blog is not “the good, the bad, and the ugly.”  It’s just the good. And there is a lot of it. Because we are human, there is also some bad (not real bad) on both our parts.  Like I said, I don’t share that here. That’s between my husband and me. So, to review:

  1. I love my husband.
  2. He is a really good husband.
  3. He’s not perfect and neither am I.

I love my husband in all his imperfection.  Anyone can love a perfect person. It takes real love to love imperfection.  And after all, isn’t that what I promised to do in my marriage vows?  Love, honor and cherish him?  I think so.

Marriage Vows on the Neverwas

Image by Orin Zebest via Flickr


#246: Movie Mondays – The Lincoln Lawyer January 16, 2012

English: Toronto: Lincoln Town Car Deutsch: To...

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Genre: Crime/Drama/Thriller

General Description from IMDb.com: A sleazy defense attorney has a crisis of conscience when he represents a wealthy client who has a foolproof plan to beat the system.

Wife: Before I start, what’s hard about reviewing movies is telling just enough but not so much that I spoil it for you.  I tend to be a spoiler as well as a smotherer thanks to my loquaciousness.  But I will try to be good.  I liked this movie.  It’s better than the previews which is something you can’t say about a lot of movies.  The big stars in it are Mathew McConaughey, Marisa Tomei and William H. Macy.  It has an interesting plot, good character development, and it keeps you engaged, although a bit confused at times.

Husband:  I think this was McConaughey’s finest work.  The movie was suspenseful with lots of pleasant surprises.  The trailer didn’t do the movie justice at all.

Husband-Wife Compatibility Score: 8.5


#245: The pillow January 13, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — Karyl @ 9:00 am
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The other morning in the early light, I was slowly waking up.  Out of the corner of my eye and senses, I saw my husband’s arm reaching toward me, searching for something.  I thought that maybe he wanted to hug me. 

I said, “Are you looking for me?” 

He said, “No.  I’m looking for a pillow.” 

Then he said, “You are so full of yourself.” 

He makes me laugh.  I’m not truly conceited or totally self-centered.  Just a little.  :)

English: Pillow Português: Travesseiro

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#244: My husband’s DVD collection January 12, 2012

English: A Catholic Rosary with a St. Benedict...

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English: Sunflowers in Fargo, North Dakota. Es...
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Promotional photo of Boris Karloff from The Br...
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CLose-up of a Santa Claus figurine bearing a p...
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Collections are fascinating to me.  Not just the collection itself but what it is a person collects and why.  I used to collect sunflowers.  Especially kitchen sunflower things.  It got a bit old and I stopped but when I was into it I was really into it.  A friend collects rosaries.  A friend’s husband collects Santas.  My husband collects movies.  I’m not sure he considers it an official collection.  He just likes movies and buys them.  I call it a collection.

I remember the first time I had dinner at his house.  He was making dinner and told me to pick out a movie to watch.  It was amazing that I could look through hundreds of movies and not see anything I wanted to watch.  I barely recognized the movies!  The movies fell into the following categories: science fiction, horror, action, and thrillers.  The first three categories I categorically dislike.  I like thrillers but I guess didn’t know they were thrillers or had already seen them.  Honestly, I think they became infected being around so many detestable sci-fi and horror films.  It was like they were covered in blood and alien juice!  Yuck!

When we moved from an apartment to a townhouse soon after we married, we had no cable for about a week.  Those movies really came in handy.  I think we must have watched a gazillion.  It was the first time I really appreciated “the collection.”  Many times since then we will see a clip from a film and I will say “That looks good” and my husband will say “We have that.”  I’m astonished.  It just goes to show you that it’s best to have an open mind.  Before I met my husband I had never seen Independence Day (which I liked).  I had never watched the X-Files (love) or Law & Order (double love!).  I must admit, I appreciate my husband’s movie collection and it is one of the things I love about being married!


#243: Book Review – The Happiness Project January 11, 2012

Cover of "The Happiness Project: Or, Why ...

Cover via Amazon

I recently read a book called The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin.  She spends a year studying happiness and experimenting with trying to become happier.  Each month she focuses on a different aspect of her life.  February was devoted to her marriage.  I thought I’d share a few of the things she learned that I found helpful and hope that you do too.

  1. She realizes that she should quit nagging.  Good for her.  I’ve figured that out too.  Of course, knowing you should not nag and not nagging are two distinct things.
  2. Don’t expect praise or appreciation.  She calls this a subtle form of nagging about work that she did.  She nagged her husband to give her praise.  I have this problem: wanting a parade for everything I do.  When I clean or cook I need to remember that it’s my job and I choose to do it.  I need to do it and shut up about it.  No praise.  I am not a martyr just because I loaded the dishwasher. 
  3. Learn how to fight right.  Tackle only one difficult topic at a time.  Avoid bombs like “You never” or “You always.”  Know how to bring an argument to an end.  Make “repair attempts.”
  4. No dumping.  Don’t dump your insecurities, unhappiness, etc. on your spouse.  Spouses pick up on each other’s moods easily. 
  5. Give proofs of love.  Hugging, saying I love you, loves notes.  Yes, do that! 

She also shares some wisdom on intimacy.  There is a difference in how men and women approach intimacy.  For example, a woman’s idea of an intimate moment is a face-to-face conversation.  Men feel close when they are sitting next to someone.  This explains a lot!  Sitting on the couch silently watching a movie together = intimacy to my husband.  For me, it becomes intimate only when we TALK about it.  :)

The last paragraph of the chapter says it best

“When thinking about happiness in marriage, you may have an almost irresistible impulse to focus on your spouse, to emphasize how he or she should change to boost your happiness.  But the fact is, you can’t change anyone but yourself.  A friend told me that her “marriage mantra” was “I love Leo, just as he is. … When you give up expecting a spouse to change (within reason) you lessen anger and resentment, and that creates a more loving atmosphere in a marriage.”      

Happiness Project, p. 68.

I enjoyed the book and especially the love/marriage chapter.  I recommend it. 


#242: Texting January 10, 2012

Filed under: Humor — Karyl @ 9:00 am
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A laughing smiley in an exclamation point.

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Karyl: hi

Walter: hi

Karyl: bye

Walter: bye

Karyl: love u

Walter: love u 2

Karyl: as i have suspected for some time you lack originality.  lucky for you I love you in spite of this fatal shortcoming

Walter: same to you


#241: Movie Mondays – Undercover Blues January 9, 2012

Here it is!  The premier post of Movie Mondays!  The goal of Movie Mondays is to quickly review movies from the husband and wife perspectives and then give the movie a 1-10 husband-wife compatibility score.  My husband and I watch a lot of movies so I think we are just the couple to engage in such important and groundbreaking research and analysis.  :)

General Description: IMDb.com describes the 1993 film Under Cover Blues as a “A wise-cracking husband and wife team of ex-Spies arrive in New Orleans on maternity leave with their baby girl. There they are hassled by muggers, the police and their FBI boss, who wants them to do just-one-more job.” 

Wife: You may find it peculiar that my debut movie on Movie Mondays is an old one.  I think I picked it because it was on tv recently and it was fresh in my mind.  The funny thing is that I’ve resisted liking it but it really is pretty good.  I also like Kathleen Turner and Dennis Quaid a lot.  I love that it’s set in New Orleans.  The movie is light, upbeat and funny.  It’s got a mix of romance, comedy and action.  It’s not a love story or anything but it is about a married couple who are new parents.  I think it’s a good movie for couples. 

Husband:  It’s a spy team who happen to be husband and wife.  They just had their first child and are called back into service to stop a female terrorist.  Most of the characters are over the top yet funny.  Muerte, whom they call Morty and is played by Stanley Tucci, spends the entire movie trying to kill the protagonist, Jefferson Blue who defeated him in one of the early robbery scenes. 

Undercover Blues
Image via Wikipedia

Husband-Wife Compatibility Score: 9

Hope you liked the first Movie Monday!  Happy movie watching.


#240: Shopping at Lowes January 6, 2012

Filed under: Humor — Karyl @ 9:00 am
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This past weekend we went to Lowes so my husband could buy a gift with the Christmas gift card he received from my brother and his family.  He decided he wanted to buy a tool but didn’t know which one.  At first I followed him around but quickly became bored.  I decided to browse around the store on my own.  Me walking around Lowes is like my husband walking around Michael’s.  I am quickly bored.  Lowes is huge but I managed to go up and down every boring isle.  There’s nothing I wanted to look at. Of course, being a shopper I did still manage to find things to buy.   I found two cute linen-lined wicker clothes hampers with bows.  I also found cleaning products and a heater. I can always find something to buy I need. 

My husband ended up getting a circular saw. 

I said, “Don’t you already have one of those?”

He said, “Yes, but not a power one.  The regular one you have to go zroom, zroom, zroom.  With the power saw it’s just zroom.”

I thanked him for that technical explanation.  Now I get it.  :)

Lowe's at Aramingo Crossings3


#239: Taco Tuesdays January 5, 2012

Filed under: Food,Humor — Karyl @ 9:00 am
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Hard-shell taco with meat, cheese, lettuce, to...

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I told my husband that I was planning a feature on my blog called Movie Mondays. 

He said, “I like Taco Tuesdays.”

I said, “What would that mean exactly?  We eat tacos every Tuesday and I blog about it and take pictures of our tacos?”

He said, mimicking my voice, “I had tomatoes and cheese on mine.”

For some reason that struck me as terribly funny and I broke into raucous laughter.  We were in bed with the lights off and I said,

“Do you mind if I turn the light on and write that down?”

He said, “No, go ahead.”

After I wrote it down I looked at it and said,

“It’s really not very funny.”

He agreed.  But I still find the story to be blogworthy.  I hope you agree.  :)  

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#238: He puts up with my ugly pants January 4, 2012

Filed under: Humor — Karyl @ 9:00 am
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Gifts don’t have to cost money.  You can make something for someone.  Or do something for them.  One of the free gifts I’m going to give my husband is the gift of ridding myself of an ugly pair of pants.  They are so ugly they are oogley.  They are lounge pants/pajama bottoms and they are pretty awful.  Made of fleece, they are dark blue with big pink hearts.  They are not flattering on me.  They don’t look that great off either.  I’ve had them about a year and now they are starting to bead up a bit.  He made a comment about them one day and the last time I looked at myself in the mirror with them on I told myself, “Time to give these away.”  I just washed and dried them and they have gone into the goodwill bag. 

This is a gift to me as well.  If I ever get on What Not to Wear, I don’t want Stacy and Clinton finding those in my closet!  I love that show.  Whenever I have on anything a bit stylish my husband calls me “Little Miss Who Not To Be” after that show.  :)

I wonder what possessed me to get them in the first place.  Do you have any really ugly pieces of clothing that you just can’t seem to part with? 

The logo of The Learning Channel's What Not to...

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